Saturday, December 31, 2005

Storm 2005: A Year in Review

I was supposed to go to a party tonight... but the bad weather kept us all up last night and I spent most of my day in zombie mode. Even a two hour nap this late afternoon did little to rejuvenate me. So I am staying in this evening and decided to take this opportunity to reflect on what the past year has held for me. It's been quite a ride. There has been a lot of stress... a lot of love... and a lot of creativity. Some highlights and major themes follow.

In '04 Chas and I started Faerywolf-Carnivalia (those are two separate links) in an effort to bring together our different artistic approaches into one single unified entity. I also took over the Feri Zine Witch Eye and made this another facet of our business. 2005 saw this business grow.

As many of you already know, Chas and I moved to Antioch and bought a house almost three years ago so that we could stay home and take care of his ailing mother who had a series of brain surgeries that left her unable to care for herself. While in the beginning we were told that we would only need to have someone here in case she fell, or needed help, it was quickly apparent to us that her needs were much, much more severe than that. She is unable to walk on her own, or even to perform certain basic steps of necessary self-care. She has dementia and sometimes forgets that she lives with us and is completely unable to manage her own affairs. When we realized the level of care that she actually needed it became clear that the both of us were needed here at home as there had been occasions in which one person was not sufficient. Thus our home-business was born.

It had always been a pipe-dream of ours; to have our own business selling our art... turning our hobby into an actual, viable resource. If it hadn't been for Chas' mom, then I doubt we ever would of done it. So... I guess there's a sort of silver lining in there.

This year we have made new and different products and have spent a lot of time and money trying to perfect them. Chas has been successful in making unique Ouija-style talkingboards and I have even tried my hand at designing some as well. We have both designed altar patens/pentacles, and Chas has proven himself to be quite a talented sculptor, making both puppets and dolls in styles both grotesque and whimsical. I have continued to make digital art and hope that I have grown in my talent in doing so. This year we both tried our hand at making sculpted masks. I even wore one I made for Halloween which became the basis for a digital art piece.

As a small part of this venture I began teaching larger Feri classes and even opened up the material to be accessible to those outside my area. It's an interesting experiment that seems to be working so far.

This year I was interviewed for a local radio station, KKUP out of Cupertino about my involvement in Witchcraft. It was a first experience for me, especially considering that it was live and lasted for two hours. We even took callers! It proved to me that I can think on my feet! :)

This year my childhood Geekdom came to fruition. Since I was eight years old I have been a fan of the BBC sci-fi series Doctor Who. This past March saw the series return to TV after a sixteen-year absence and I must say that I was thrilled. My best friend since Jr. High School, David, and I used to watch the show while talking on the phone together when we were young teens. So of course I had to have him over to see the new series. It was childhood happiness revisited. Only this time with good acting, writing, and even special effects.

A main theme of 2005 for me has been that of relationships. It was actually the summer of 2004 that Chas and I began dating Daniel. While Chas and I have always had a polyamorous relationship, and have twice even briefly dated other couples, this was our first experience with a "triad" and it proved to be interesting for us all. While in the beginning I had felt that I was the one who connected with Daniel more, it soon became apparent that it was in fact he and Chas who had the real connection and so I ended up feeling left out, which was difficult for me, to say the least. This was in the end of '04 and would prove to be a main challenge for me for most of '05.

I have always prided myself on being an open and communicative person. But there was just something about my relationship with Daniel that made it difficult for me to express myself in an articulate way... and when I was able to do so I often left the conversations feeling that nothing had really changed. Numerous talks with Chas about all of this had likewise proved unhelpful. In retrospect I can understand the difficult position that he was put in; having to be in between two lovers who were having problems with each other.

During all of this it was intimated to me that Chas was having second thoughts about polyamory in general. Not in terms of the triad, but beyond it. A triad (or another type of group relationship) is actually something that I have intuitively felt was right for me for at least the past 10+ years. Chas was never as enthusiastic about the idea as I was, but like me he enjoyed the freedom that an open relationship provided us. Now I realized that a major element of our relationship (and one that was extremely important to me) was no longer shared by my partner of many years. Chas confided in me that if this triad didn't work, then he would not try it again in the future, and so I took that as incentive to really try and make this one work. In a way, it seemed like a last ditch shot at happiness. So I waited. I let things slide. When I had issues, I talked about them, but not to the degree that I would normally have, and often not to Daniel as I felt that was putting him in a strange position and just pushing him further away. I felt trapped. I was unhappy. This lasted most of the year.

In early October I finally realized that I could not wait to be happy anymore and so I broke up with Daniel. It was the best decision that I had made in a long time, and it turned out to be a good thing for both of us. (Daniel and I are much better friends now that we are not dating.) For me, it didn't really feel like a break-up... more of an affirmation of something that had already occurred a long time before. But this, of course, was still a stressful time in our house, as Chas and he were still very much in love and it would seem that my own problems in the triad were threatening their happiness. So we talked... and talked... and talked... and we decided that since he and Daniel had a connection that I would try to support that. This was, after all, what our original vision of polyamoury was all about: recognizing that a single person could not fulfill all of a person's needs, we made a pledge that while we were definitely committed to each other and would support each other in this life, that we also would allow each other the space to explore ourselves through relationships with other people, both sexually and emotionally. Taking those principals to heart, I applied them to my situation and decided to try and see if I could still live in a house in which Chas was dating someone whom I was not.

One of the conditions that I put forward in order to live with this situation was that Chas would need to understand that if he was dating someone outside our relationship, then I was free to do that as well; basically just reaffirming our original arrangement from years past only with a twist: Chas' lover would actually be living with us. It has been difficult for me, at times, but I am certainly acclimating to it.

Around this time I met someone. While attending one of Daniel's clubs I had the good fortune to be introduced to Fredo. I was immediately drawn to him, but then again so was a good chunk of the other gay men in the room at the time as evidenced by the numerous sets of eyes watching him on the dance floor. Later Fredo and I would start talking and even hang out for an evening. By the end of the evening it was clear that there was a mutual attraction. A few weeks later we were dating. I fell hard and fast. I certainly wasn't looking for a new relationship, but that's usually the time you find one, right?

He is no stranger to polyamory, as he is also partnered in a polyamorous relationship with a wonderful man for over 10 years. And when I say wonderful man, I mean it. Standing on the edge of a dance floor one fine club-going evening this man, Philip, approached me and told me that he approved of me dating his husband... that he saw that I made Fredo happy and that he liked me and wanted me to know that I had his blessing. I was beyond touched... and to be honest perhaps even a bit smitten with him even then although I didn't really look at that fully until quite recently.

I have had my share of stresses recently about all this, though. Chas has been somewhat uncomfortable with me dating others outside our relationship, even though he has a lover who lives in our house. While there have been flare-ups about this issue, we have been able to talk about them and I am confident that we are able to work things out. It's all new territory for us... but we are committed to treading it together. (I love you, Chas. Here's to another year together.)

So now... I am living with my beautiful husband with whom I will soon share a 13th anniversary with... living with his mom and his boyfriend, and dating two wonderful men. It's interesting... and exciting... and full of many kinds of love. But then again I wouldn't have expected anything less from my life.

Life is good... here's to an even better '06!

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Offensive snowflakes...

Inspired by the recent entry by elfwreck, I created the following snowflake. I call it "Snow Balls", here presented for your irreverent enjoyment.


Merry Xmas!

I just wanted to wish every one a wonderful Holiday, whether you celebrate Xmas, (or Christmas for you Christian types), Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Solstice, Ramadan, or even Festivus.

This was/is a quiet holiday for me. While in years past we have enjoyed a house full of family and friends, this year everyone had other plans, so it has just been Chas, Daniel, Patt, and myself... so a normal household here in these parts. I admit to at first being a little sad about it, but the quiet is actually kinda nice.

I also got some good bounty this year... even though I haven't yet had the opportunity to sit on Santa's lap. (Santa daddy! Are you listening? I'd still love to tell you what I really want for Xmas!) ;) I got a snazzy black faux-leather jacket (it's PVC, baby!) from my husband Chas, along with a pressed fairy book and what is likely the worlds smallest tarot deck... He also gave to me an encyclopedia of Witchcraft from the Element series (to match my encyclopedia of 5000 spells by the same publisher) as well as this way cool curvy swirly metal stake that is adorned with 5 peacock feathers. I think it's supposed to be a plant spike, but I think it will find its way into my temple. All hail the Blue God! :)

Daniel got me the new Serenity DVD (yay! Such a great movie!), and my mom got me some groovy new clothes, along with tickets to go and see Lestat: The Musical next month. She also got for Chas and I an opportunity to hire someone to watch Chas' mother for a weekend so that we can slip away and do something just the two of us sometime. That is so needed. Thank you, mom! And last, but certainly not least, my new boyfriend crocheted for me a scarf in the style of peacock colors (it's so beautiful, and really touching that he made it himself!). I feel loved this season. :)

All this along with good food, mimosas, wine, and playing with my Bandaloop have made this a good holiday for me. The only thing that would make it better would be to also be able to spend time with my friends, my family, and with my Fredo. But that will all come in time. Of course there's still the Santa's lap thing... anyone wanna play Santa for me this year? ;)

I hope that everyone is having a good season and that you all are rewarded for your good deeds with health, love, and prosperity. And maybe an Xbox. Or whatever else your heart desires.

Happy Holidays everyone!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Bored...

Bored... bored... bored...

I'm home alone. (Well... as alone as I can get in this house.) Originally I was planning on going out to Compulsion tonight, but Daniel needed to go early and Chas is working the door since everyone else is gone for the holidays. So here I sit... waiting for Chas' mom to go to bed. And then...  ?

Normally time home alone would be a welcome thing. But I was planning on having fun tonight. :(

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Monday, December 19, 2005

Yet another silly quiz...

HASH(0x8d8c45c)
You're a positive person, full of life and
positivity. You're very extroverted and love
people. However, this makes you a bit innocent
and that can get you in to trouble you don't
deserve. All in all, you love your life. I
wish more people could be like you.


Which Live Journal icon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sandman Quiz...

Desire of the Endless
You are Desire! You enjoy manipulating people and
having people love you. You can be cruel and
impetuous.


Which Sandman Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Witch Eye #12: Sex and Feri Craft

Well, we suffered a few minor (and not so minor) technical glitches along the way, but let the celebration commence! Witch Eye #12 is finally here!

Witch Eye #12: Sex and Feri Craft

 

 In this issue:

  • Excerpts on a Discussion on Sexuality with Victor Anderson
  • Erotic Trinity: The Three Souls, Sexuality, and Embodying the Blue God
  • An Interview with Annie Sprinkle
  • Hestia: Forgotten Goddess
  • Confession: The Day I Woke Up Queer
  • A Journey for Victor, pt. IV
  • Plus art... poetry... spells...  and more!
For a full list of contents and authors/artists, please visit here.

We received so many wonderful pieces from people, but unfortunately could not fit them all in! Rest assured that many of these pieces will find their way into our pages for future issues. (Besides... Sex is so juicy... how can we keep it for only one issue?)

To place an order, please visit our website at www.feritradition.org/witcheye or write to the address below. Current issues are $8 each. Available back issues are $10 each. Shipping in the U.S. is free. (International customers please contact us before sending your money so that we can calculate shipping rates to your country.) CA residents please add 7.25% sales tax. Make checks payable to "Faerywolf".

Contributors: your copies are already in the mail and you should be receiving them soon!

Any questions regarding content for the zine should be directed to witcheye@feritradition.org. All questions regarding orders should be directed to orders@faerywolf.com.

Upcoming themes for future issues are:

  • Ethics of Feri
  • Pentacle Practices
  • The Three Souls
  • Exploring the Guardians
  • Outside Looking In: Perspectives of non-Feries
  • Dreams of Victor

...plus any other Feri-related thing you can dream up. Send in your stuff! Artwork, spells and reviews are especially needed! Deadline for Witch Eye #13 will be February 25, 2006.

Submission guidelines can be found here: http://www.feritradition.org/witcheye/submissions.htm

If anyone has any questions please let me know.

Happy reading!


Witch Eye
PO Box 3736
Antioch, CA 94531

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

And just who's gonna do it, huh?

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In September I gave mrj15 a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). Last Sunday I pulled over and changed f8's flat tire (15 points). Last Thursday I set plaidder's puppy on fire (-66 points). In August I bought porn for happydog (-10 points). Last Wednesday I helped eumenide hide a body (-173 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-239 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!

Sincerely,
faerywolf

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

I seem to think that the punishment might be its own reward...

Friday, December 02, 2005

Welcome to my Nightmare...

Hey! If you are in the San Francisco area tonight, why not come join us here:



It should be a blast! And it benefits the Pagan Alliance!

**EDIT: I had a long day and now I'm dog tired so I've decided not to go. But I hope everyone has a good time. Let me know how it goes.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

No! Not Leeches!

Stolen from the journal of: suthrnboyinca:

Being sucked dry by leeches isn't so bad.
You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away
from swimming holes, and stick to good old
cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when
your toe scrapes the bottom.

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A nice Validation when I needed it

If it wasn't for the fact that my Feri teacher was and is a wonderful and balanced person I seriously think I would have left a long time ago. When dealing with factions of the community I have seen such ugliness, and yet I knew what these tools did for me, and I saw how my own teacher embodied them. If nothing else this alone has given me hope that Feri tradition, when practiced correctly, can be a source of much power and growth.

I received the following email from my Feri teacher about this recent conflict and I am presenting it here in its entirety because I think it addresses quite nicely the issues that are at play here.


Hi Storm,
Perhaps you can hear me sighing, my heart heavy with a disappointment
that, by now, I should no longer experience, after all I've seen. Yet there it is.

Thank you for letting me in on this. It means a lot to me that you
include me when things come up--though I'm sorry they are such idiotic
things! I wanted to get back to you sooner, but first I needed to
think about this, and then the rain (I guess) knocked out our power.
But here I am now.

Your response to *****--who, by the way, has never met me and probably
does not even know my name--is rather hot, but, I think, justifiably
so. You are correct, I think, that the issue is not about payment, but
about imbalance and fundamentalism. I have only the quotes you
provided in your excerpt, but these strongly suggest to me that *****
is yet one more practitioner whose practice has plateaued out and
become the nucleus around which a new identity has formed. How often
have we seen this: "I'm Feri, I know more than you, my tradition is so
badass. I did the Iron Pentacle (back in the '70's) and corrected some
of my gross imbalances, and now I'm perfect." The reason Feri is
dangerous is because, _like magic in general_, it can provide deep
insight into the personality while simultaneously allowing the
formation of a new identity around these insights. It must be stated
again and again that attachment to personality is attachment to the
temporal, to the conditioned, and will act to prevent one from truly
knowing the Unknown, i.e. the Star Goddess. In my experience, Feri
teachers (in general) still hold to form in their practice (deities,
guardians, etc.) and cannot speak of the place of Silence and the
Unknown. Coincident with this, as both cause and consequence, is
attachment to personality, the adherence to an identity about who "I
am."

So what you say about ***** does not surprise me, but does sadden me.
She theocratically enunciates a version of Feri that simply reflects
her own biases, but fails to see that her vision of Feri is a creation
of her personality. She then imposes it upon others, and, in true
fundamentalist fashion, condemns any who see things otherwise. So much
for openness and acceptance of difference.

I am also struck by her fallacious use of "abuse," as if paying for
classes, and not very much, at that! is the same as abuse the of
spiritual authority for purposes of personal sexual gratification. If
she honestly believes these are equivalent, then she seems to have
lost touch with consensus reality. The fact that she considers you and
I "abusers" is both staggering and laughable. I wonder if ***** is
aware that Gabriel, to whom she just gave a black wand, charged me for
classes! That must be the source of my abuse of you! There are issues
to be discussed regarding the question of money and teaching, but I
haven't seen anyone talking about them in a serious way, by which I
mean that it is not actually about money per se. Essentially, these
issues come down to the fact that money is a condition placed upon
teaching--but it is only one of many, and far less serious than the
questions of teacher-student sex or kicking out students who don't
practice.

You are taking the right attitude toward all this, I think. Namely:
don't waste time with bozos.
Move on to what's important. Much worthwhile discussion could come
from this, and I'm open to more.

Also, if you want to put any on this on your livejournal, go ahead.
You can use my name and email to, if you want. Fine by me, I have
loads of opinions.

Be well, Mitchell
mitchell.houston@gmail.com

Mediation, like Communism, sometimes looks better on paper...

So I was asked today if I would agree to a formal mediation regarding the Fundi Feri Woman. (I guess she didn't like my response to her email.) She apparently contacted a third party who then contacted me with the request. I thought about what that would mean, and what purpose it might serve. After giving it some thought I decided that I was not interested. I have no intention of having a relationship with this person so what's the point? Since my goal is to have nothing to do with her (and I would actually prefer to never even think of her again, if possible) I fail to see how a meditation would be a fruitful thing for me. I also find that it is useless to engage a crazy person, so I sincerely doubt it would do anything other than waste my energy. Oh sure, it looks good on paper, and maybe if this person were in my coven, or another social circle that I was a part of then I might see the value in it. But I must also question her motivations behind the request. I can only conclude that it was likely a political one. Now she can say, "Well, I tried! But he isn't interested in working it out!" That's fine. I find myself not caring what the Fundi faction thinks anymore. I have heard from so many Feri initiates that we are not really a "community" anyway so to what end could said mediation serve? I said my piece. I'm done. I left the initiates-only list just after my last post here so I need not engage the toxicity there anymore either. That's OK... all the people that I really have a connection with from there I seem to have connections with elsewhere too.

My own teacher did not engage the Feri community pretty much as a matter of principal. Now I am beginning to see why.

I have some more thoughts about the issues that are a part of this particular conflict. I think those issues are worthy ones to address. I will likely post to that end later. For now I'm just feeling rather free.

**EDIT: It looks like I jumped to an erroneous conclusion about her motivations for asking for the mediation. Thank you Elfwreck for pointing that out to me. It doesn't change my mind about it, but it is nice to know that it wasn't a manipulative ploy.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

My Problems with Feri (Community)

OK... I really feel the need to vent about something and since this is my personal journal it feels like the best place to do it. I realize that many (most) of you are not familiar with the Feri tradition. For my Feri students... well, maybe after reading this rant (yes, a rant) you will decide that I'm not as enlightened as you thought I was. That's OK. I have never claimed to be anything other than human (and right now I am a royally pissed-off one.) For those of you NOT affiliated in any way with Feri, then this might shed a little light on what I have been dealing with lately. Of course you'll probably just think I'm stupid for having put up with people like this for so long...

All comments will be screened... I just don't want to deal with the crazy element.

But first a little history...

I have been practicing Feri tradition Witchcraft since my first "official" exposure in 1992. What originally drew me to this wildly varied path was a brief mention of the Blue God in Starhawk's book, The Spiral Dance. Later I would find that this path was based upon an actual inner practice, something that the other forms of Witchcraft I had been exposed to were severely lacking. After my first few months of classes I retreated into solitary practice, born more out of circumstance than anything else. Later I would find my teacher and once again begin the formal training, this time determined to see it through. After several years of training I was initiated and in 2005 I began teaching using the classroom style in which I was taught. I love the Feri tradition, and the tools that I have learned from it. I have found it to be a powerful catalyst for growth and healing, for (re)claiming my power and communing with the Divine. So if I feel that the Feri tradition is such a positive and powerful thing, why do I feel it is necessary to warn my potential students about the Feri community?

Interestingly (perhaps paradoxically) the very diversity that I believe to be at the heart of Feri's power also serves to be a source of much toxicity within the community. Some people, such as myself, were trained with the idea that Feri could be a powerful practice toward the goal of one's spiritual evolution. By using these tools, and forming a relationship with these spirits and powers, one could tap into a greater source of Divine energy and channel it toward personal growth, as well as to mediate this power into the world at large. My personal belief is that if I have found these tools and powers to be helpful, then it is my responsibility to provide them to a wider audience in the hopes that others will find them similar. If more people aligned their Three Souls, and made Kala everyday, then the world would be a better place. It is from this space that I offer Feri training. But others see this as a threat to how they relate to the tradition...

Feri, traditionally, has certain secrets. But this changes from line to line. It is pretty much agreed that the initiatory material is secret, but after that all bets are off. Some lines feel that it is ALL secret, and because of this actively attack or condemn those who feel differently. Not much different than other religious communities, I guess.

Another (major) problem with the Feri community that I have seen is the inability to confront abuse within our ranks. One elder priest has been a sexual predator for over 30 years and very little has been done about it. When this person perpetuated sexual coercion upon my partner and myself I eventually came forward with it only to be shot down by a good number of 'the on-line Feri initiates community'. So two years ago I went public with it. The fallout is still being felt.

Recently another conflict has been brought to light (or at least to my attention.) Whereas I paid for my Feri training, there is a group that feels that this is wrong. While I can respect different takes on the subject what I do not appreciate is being judged for it. What I appreciate even less is being told that because I offer classes for pay that I am somehow "abusing" my students by doing so. Let me clarify...

In an initiates only space the idea was posed that charging for classes was forbidden because we have a rule about taking advantage of 'brothers and sisters of the Craft'. I pointed out that I paid for my Feri training and never felt taken advantage of and (I thought rhetorically) posed the question, "Was I somehow taken advantage of because of this?" I received the following answer from a woman who has been a Feri initiate since the early 70's (her quotes are bold italic, my replies are italicized.):

Yes, Storm, *I* think you were Abused. (not just taken advantage of)

And, Just like kids who are Beaten in a culture where beating is 'Normal' and Even a sign of 'Love', you see nothing wrong with your abuse.----and fully intend to perpetuate it. Its how You were taught, after all.

When I pointed out that this was actually condescending I was simply told it wasn't. Apparently the fact that it is how she honestly feels alleviates the fact that it is actually a condescending judgment. Um... OK.

She went on to tell me to 'get a job' to which I replied that I HAVE one... I'm a caretaker, an artist, a writer, and a teacher. My magick is practical... I do not expect that money will just appear in my mailbox without me working for it. But that wasn't enough for her.

OK, then write, that Will make the money magically appear in your mail box--or paint  or go out there and Sell Magic---tarot or  herb lore, love spells, what ever--but, please, don't sell Sacraments for Cheap! I have no respect for Cheap Whores!   Get ALL you are worth, or don't sell it!

My exact response to her on this was, "Wow. Can you even imagine how little I respect you or your opinion right about now? A cheap whore, huh? Take your whackidoodle self-righteousness and shove it up your ass."

Again, Very hostile, Storm

I tend to get that way when called a 'Cheap Whore' you patronizing, arrogant bitch.

Can you tell I'm simply done with this?

Another aspect to this particular conflict is that I see a definite need for some people to have access to the spiritual tools of Feri tradition as a separate thing from Feri initiation. In fact I actually feel that very few people are compatible with Feri initiation. I think we have more than our fair share of dangerously insane people. One conclusion is that since Feri is geared toward helping people develop, then those who have had really fucked-up lives tend to credit the Feri tradition (the version that they were taught, mind you) as the be all and end all of their existence. Another is that it is the current of power passed at initiation that is to blame. If people are not properly prepared for it then it simply drives them crazy (if they weren't to begin with). And I'm not talking eccentric-happy-fruit-loop-necklace wearing crazy. I'm talking religious zealot will-curse-you-for-religious-differences or promise-to-kill-for-others-in-the-cult crazy. Eeek. No thank you. Check, please.

So now what I am teaching is being called into question by some. (I'm sure there's more than just this woman, she's just the only one stupid enough to pick a fight with me about it.)

If you want to start some feri-flavored something ,  go ahead , just call it something else Please--  If you like --I'll hand you a black wand!

What is the most condescending about this is that she assumes that her Feri is somehow "more right" than other takes on it. As I told her:

Oh, fuck off, [her name]. What I do *is* Feri tradition. I have worked with (and continue to work with) initiates from many different lines. I incorporate exercises and ideas from many different strands of the Feri web. What I do is Feri, so no... I wont call it anything else just to please you and your fundamentalist views. You don't own Feri. And you certainly don't own me.

If I am a 'Cheap Whore' in your eyes, why are you offering me what some lines of the tradition consider to be the mark of a Grandmaster? No thank you, [her name]. If I were ever to receive the Black Wand I would want it to come from someone whom I honor and respect. I wouldn't touch your supposed Black Wand with a ten foot pole.

Of course, she is also the person who gave the Black Wand to the aforementioned abusive priest, in an act that was "marketed" to the Feri initiates community as having been "blessed by Cora Anderson". When I went to visit Cora recently and we asked her about it she said that she wasn't told that the wand was for this priest until the end of her visit with this woman and was quite clear that she would NOT have blessed it for him. Yo! Crazy Feri woman! You just manipulated an elderly woman in her sick bed! Have you no shame? I guess that's rhetorical... your actions speak loud enough for themselves.  

In the end of my email I told her to 'go to hell'. I am so done with her and people like her. Over the years I have heard similar stories... people who are doing their work being driven away from Feri community by the crazies. The thing for me, though, is that I will not stand for it. So let this be a lesson for you, crazy woman (and for all those in your one-true-path camp): Every nasty thing you say to me will be made public. I took an Oath to protect initiatory secrets. Fucked-up behavior was not a part of that. I do not accept your narrow cult-like view. In fact, I oppose it. If anything I think that it is YOU who represent what is wrong with the Feri community. I don't care that you were initiated when I was a child. I don't care what things you have done in the past. I don't care how respectful you are to people who agree with your take on things. I see you. I see your toxicity. I see your manipulation and your fundamentalist dogma. And I oppose it. Joyously, unabashedly, and completely. With anger when necessary, and with laughter when that feels right too. Why would you expect any less of me? I am Feri.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

A poem...

I offer another poem...





Within my Chest, This Fire
11/16/05

When rapture formed within my heart
like shining diamonds made of fire
and the blackness receded like the night at dawn
and a spring rain fell gently
gently
upon my face
and I was nourished by the touch of it
by the touch of you.
I smile
then laugh!
I am alive! Now and forever...
I dance and dance and sway to the beat
of your heart against my chest
our lips pressed together... so soft...
so soft.
Your skin bathed in moonlight
a secret radiance and I bear witness
to the handiwork of the Gods
within your smiling eyes.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Did someone say MEME???

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Reply to this entry by posting a picture of yourself in the comments, then post this sentence in your own journal.

Monday, November 14, 2005

My Altars...

In  there was a discussion about altars in which people were posting pictures. I have quite a lot of them and didn't want to bombard the comments section over there, so I put them here.


Here is my main altar:


Here it is close-up and lit:


With stars overhead!:


Here it is open:


Here's the inside:


Air:


Fire:


Water:


Earth:


And since Earth is in the north, it is a part of my main altar:


My Peacock Lord altar:


And finally, my ancestor altar:

Sunday, November 13, 2005

A Poem...

The Satyr and the Angel

At summer's end, the sabbat night
when spirits walk this ancient earth
through the host of souls we met,
a satyr and an angel.

His horns were red and earthen black
My feathers green and blue
His touch Promethean, his kiss so sweet.
My yearning heart is set aflame.

To see him is to know desire
His skin like cream
His eyes like jewels
His heart, so soft to beg caress.
He smiles and he shines like fire
and I the helpless moth.

Hand in hand he led me down
into the hallowed dance
with thrusting hips and passion's kiss
the world did melt away.

As we danced amongst the throng
so too we danced alone
And looking deep within his eyes
my own were filled with longing.

Beyond all thought I moved to touch
my hands upon his flesh
and lip to lip, two flames in one
as earth unto the heavens.

Too early came the sabbat's end
to our worlds we did return
but shall we meet and dance again?
The answer's in the stars.

11/03/05

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Pagan ethics and other endangered species

Here is a thought provoking post from Happy Dog:

the trickster and the medicine man and the drunk man with a gun

Last night at the Obscure Curio...

It's not often that I am able to begin a narrative with the words, "So, I was so drunk last night," so imagine my joy that this rare occurrence happens today.



So, last night we ventured out to the opening night of The Obscure Curio, a new once-a-month Goth/Industrial/80's club in San Francisco, put together by DJs DOMGDOMG, and Orko. I had a really wonderful time. I got to see Fredo, which always makes my heart skip a beat. We danced, and talked, and generally enjoyed each others company. I also got to watch him dance all sexy on the dance floor with some hot guys which I am embarrassed to admit made me feel the tiniest bit jealous. Not enough to be weird, mind you... just enough to make me want to grab him and pull him toward me. OK.. OK... so I always want to pull him toward me. So sue me.

I got to talk a bit more with the charming Philip, who gave me his blessing to be dating his partner. (Isn't  polyamory fun?) It was weird at first (not exactly the kind of situation that you get prepared for in school) but it was actually very good to hear that from him, as I like him and wouldn't want to be doing anything that he wasn't comfortable with. Yay for communication!

Rachel and Star where there too, which is always a treat! I always love dancing with them. Star got tired and left early, but it really wasn't all that early. We, of course, stayed to the bitter end, Chas helping Daniel carry his CD books back to the car... me slightly staggering in the lead. Hey... I'm an Irishman, what can I say? Well, other than "Thank you barkeep, I'll have another..." ;)

I recently descended back into smoking cigarettes (after having quit for seven years! Eeek!) and last night I had too many. I am putting a cap on it right here and now. I'm not saying that I wont ever do it at all, but I am certainly not going to be doing it everyday, even if only a few as I have been doing for the last couple of weeks. I think I shall limit my smoking to when I go out, which isn't all that often, and then we shall take it from there.

All in all a very wonderful time was had by all. I am looking forward to seeing the club grow. The music rocked and the crowd was mixed and got along nicely. I think this might be the new place to go.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Come and visit me...

If you will be in the SF Bay Area tonight, then why not come and visit me? Chas and I will be hanging out listening to the Gothic groove at a brand new club, the Obscure Curio:

Drop by and say hello.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Silly meme

Grabbed from the journal of plaidder:

TEN FIRSTS
First Thing You Ate Today:
Goldfish Crackers (Cheddar)
First Best Friend: Billy, from Kindergarten
First Screen Name: Elderwolf
First Pet: Goblin (cat)
First Piercing: right ear (twice)
First Crush: some jock guy in Jr. High
First CD: CD? How about LP? Madonna: Like a Virgin
First Car I Drove: Pontiac Lemans
First Stuffed Animal: teddy bear given to me when I was born
First Concert: Um... John Denver (Hey, I was seven!)

NINE LASTS
Last Alcoholic Beverage:
Wine
Last Car Ride: just now to go and vote!
Last Movie Seen: Serenity
Last Phone Call: my mom
Last CD Played: October Project
Last Bubble Bath: um... a month ago?
Last time you Cried: can't remember
Last concert seen: Dead Can Dance

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
Have you ever dated one of your best friends: yes
Have you ever been arrested? No. Almost, but no.
Have you ever skinny dipped? yes
Have you ever been on TV? Yes, briefly. Twice.
Have you ever kissed someone, and then regretted it? Yes
Have you ever had a sex dream about someone? Yes
Have you ever cheated? No

SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING
1.
socks
2. glasses
3. ring
4. slippers
5. jeans
6. underwear
7. belt

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. Read
2. checked email
3. drank coffee
4. Voted
5. smoked a cigarette
6. worked

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER
1. wine
2. art
3. kissing
4. coffee
5. sex

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ALMOST ANYTHING TO
1. Chas
2. my sister
3. my mom
4. David

THREE CHOICES
1. Change political party from "Green" to "Democrat"?
2. Start another painting?
3. Print more Witch Eye's today?

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Get my work published by an actual publisher
2. Master Astral Projection

ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. My recent relapse into cigarettes

Monday, November 07, 2005

(Astrological) Samhain Blessings...

Today is 15 degrees Scorpio... the astrological marker for Samhain. I just emerged from my ritual circle with Chas to find that I just sold my first painting...

Woo hoo! Go me! :)

A Poem

On this cold day I offer a warm poem.





My Sacred Lover
11/7/05

Long ago on moonlit night
standing naked on the earth
I called to Pan with open heart
and so he came with pleasure's touch.

From wooded darkness he did come
from fervent rut and primal throb
and horned he stood like blackened flame
to touch my skin and warm my blood.

My hands were his and so they worked
with fevered pitch and soft caress
and as our bodies writhed as one
a moonlit river...
deluge of stars.

As seed was spilled upon the earth
as lightning flashed across my mind
the chill of sweat upon my flesh
so marked as his was I that night.

IAO! Pan! My sacred lover,
Who warms my bed on winter's night,
I bow before your starry rise
And rest within your starry fall.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

New Art!

Working in my Feri symbols series...


"From Iron to Innocence"
©2005 Storm Faerywolf
Click above to read description or to purchase

no patience

I can't wait that long. I'm shaving my head again. :)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Website Update

Update:

For those of you who are interested in Feri tradition material, I have added my piece from Witch Eye #10: The Gods of Infinity: The Lemniscate and its Presence in Feri Magick.

I also have made available my recent art piece that I posted here the other day, "The Return of the Peacock Angel" as well as a new piece that will be used for the cover of Witch Eye #12. I present, "Rapture in Full Bloom":

'Rapture in Full Bloom' ©2005 Storm Faerywolf
"Rapture in Full Bloom"
©2005 Storm Faerywolf
Click image for description or to purchase a signed print.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Samhain Art

This year for Halloween I decided to sculpt and paint a mask to wear as a stylized form of Melek Ta'us, the Peacock Angel of Middle Eastern myth.

Dressed in black leather, a purple shirt and a peacock feather, I completed this homage to the Blue God and went out dancing, thus connecting what are usually two very different experiences for me... a secular Halloween, and a religious Samhain. Doing my best to embody the qualities of my favorite Deity, I had the good fortune to run into a hot little satyr with whom I shared the dance floor for most of the evening. Today, still basking in the glow of the previous night, I created the following art piece:

'Return of the Peacock Angel' ©2005 Storm Faerywolf
"Return of the Peacock Angel" ©2005 Storm Faerywolf
Click image for description or to purchase

2000?

Chas got this from somewhere... I just saw it and had to post it. I'm in a political mood.

http://theunitedamerican.blogs.com/Movies/2000A/2000.html

Reid Statement: Troops and Security First (Re: Closed Session)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=104&topic_id=5231177&mesg_id=5231177

Sunday, October 30, 2005

New Logo

Today I tweaked my logo... I think the butterfly wings were getting a bit stale.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Blast from the past...

For several years Chas and I have had these random rolls of film following us around. We've moved, packed them along with us and eventually forgot completely what they were. But here they remain. Or at least did, until today when I finally went to get them developed. Only one of out the five could be processed today due to differing chemicals, or such, but what I got back was enough to jog my memory and perhaps inspire me to grow my hair back. ;)

I present, for your viewing pleasure (or non), me with long hair, circa 1997:


 
Click each for a larger view.


What a blast, man. I'm thinking it might be time to try and stop shaving my head! That is if I have the patience to get through the lengthy "awkward phase". We'll get the rest of the rolls back on Wednesday... I can only imagine what we'll find in there!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Another in my Weird Dream series...

I just woke up from the strangest dream...

I was staying at the Disney's Grand Californian Hotel, although neither the building nor the grounds looked right. My mother and and I were walking outside talking when we saw a rather large black wolf roaming close by unattended. Its fur looked as soft as down; fluffy and inviting. The kind of fur that you would love to pet and scratch and bury your face in. But there was something oddly menacing about the creature's face... its eyes. His eyes. Somehow I knew it was male although I could see no evidence of that. Some psychic impression of a masculine force that I found both threatening and alluring at the same time. This was a a bit disturbing, and even more so when we realized that it was moving toward us.

I suggested that we slowly move in the other direction so as to not startle it or draw undue attention to ourselves, but it just kept moving closer, now picking up speed. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest... as thoughts of maulings and rabies filled my addled brain. Grasping my mother's hand I pulled her away from our intruder as we began to walk faster, faster... now trotting toward  a group of picnic tables partly surrounded by some tall trees and shrubs. As if the beast knew our plan, and hellbent on stopping our escape to refuge, he began running at full speed toward our position, a realization that sent our already elevated levels of concern over into what can be described as the first levels of panic.

"Run!!" (Did I yell that or was it someone else?) Ignoring my mother's physical comfort, I pulled her arm as hard as I could as I made a mad dash for the tables, my mind reeling with fear and with purpose. Upon reaching them we stepped up on to the bench, and then onto the table's surface, feeling accomplished and relieved that we had survived unscathed. Our pursuer, however, had other plans. He began to snarl and growl, his eyes filled with a type of primal malice I had never considered until that moment. It chilled me to see it, but this sensation was short lived, replaced by white hot fear when the wolf began to step up first onto the bench and then next onto the table; his front paws now violating our beloved sanctuary.

With as much speed as I could muster I swung my train bag toward the creature hoping to scare it away; my mind filled with conflicting thoughts... primarily of safety and defense, but now also of concern for my beloved bag. Thoughts of pristine name-brand black leather being scratched and mauled beyond repair, and now embarrassment at having these frivolous concerns. I swung a second time, now a third, and the creature responded favorably, retreating slowly down the table and the bench until it had completely yielded the high ground to us; our feelings of security returning. Did I notice something else about it? A tinge of gray? No, more than a tinge. Had the creature somehow changed color during our encounter? Before I could ponder further a slight movement caught its eye and like a bolt of lightning it streaked away from our position to a small path of flowers and bushes across from us where some unfortunate creature had been foraging for food.

With the wolf turned away from us my mother and I seemed to share a single thought between us though no words were spoken. Just as we began to turn to make our way down from the table in the hopes of making it to one of the nearby hotel buildings and thus to safety, the wolf turned to face us once more and we were frozen in horror. No, not horror, for that would require some understanding or at least an assumption of a threat, but what we saw now was so foreign so as to replace any prior concerns with crystal sharp disbelief; slicing through my brain and leaving me helpless to do anything but watch the spectacle playing out before me. The wolf had now not only changed color once more --now black and gray with an undercoat of golden yellow brown-- but had now seemingly changed shape. His front legs seemingly more muscular than before, his paws replaced with what seemed to my eye to be hands. His torso was likewise muscular and had it not been for the thick coat of fur that covered him completely I would have thought it human. Could this be a human being? In the moment that it took to begin to dismiss such an absurd notion the creature grabbed hold of his prey which I now saw was a small raccoon, and lifted it with both hands to his mouth and bit into the still living animal. It was precisely the kind of stance and motion that one would expect from a bear, but coming from a wolf --even a somehow changed wolf was more than common sense could allow for. Blood flowed over his lips and teeth as he enjoyed his meal, turning to face us now head-on so that I could witness this mockery of the natural world, or at least a mockery of my understanding of it. "A werewolf?" I asked myself. "Is it even possible?"

With him enjoying his catch seemed the perfect opportunity to flee and so we bolted from the tables and ran as fast as we could toward the hotel, our pursuer not following. Inside and to safety at last we were joined by other guests and then the hotel staff who were now all talking at once, leaving me unable to decipher what individual words they were saying but their speech all filled with the tones of concern. My heart beating hard in my chest, but calming now as I took deep breaths and began to feel more secure. I heard someone ask us what it was and as we recalled our story they looked on in amused disbelief.

"Oh, the hotel has people in costumes all around here, I'm sure that's what that was." The person's genuine and yet somehow simultaneously patronizing tone washed over me like snow.

"Well if that's what it was," I replied, "then I'm going to have to complain to management."

Monday, October 17, 2005

The Life I lead...

So we've all been pretty depressed over the whole break-up thing... Daniel has been sad and locking himself in his room... Chas has been sad and mopey... I've been sad even though I knew that it was ultimately the best thing for me. But today something has shifted...

Chas and I have never had what one might call a "conventional" relationship. From the very beginning we have been able to date others as we see fit... it was only when we started this triad that things became more exclusive which lent itself to problems for me when it became apparent that I was the one who was ending up largely on the outside looking in. I knew for awhile that I probably just needed to take the pressure off... go out and date and be my own person... but Chas wasn't OK with that, and I understood. He wanted this triad to work, as did I, but since it wasn't working for me, I was the one who needed to stand up and say so. So... things seemed to be ending for all of us.

Today, however, a new plan. Actually an old plan that I had awhile ago but now it is being listened to with new ears. Chas and Daniel can keep what they have. (I had no desire to break them up just because it wasn't working for me...) but now I am freed to do what I want. I don't have to find my romantic outlet in a person who isn't in a place to give it to me. I can find it where the universe leads me.

So while Chas and Daniel will remain together and exclusive... I will keep my relationship with Chas the way it was before. Basically I can date now, which let me tell you makes a world of difference for me.

Perhaps without the pressure things can be allowed to progress (or not) between Daniel and I. What's nice is that there will no longer be a need in me to make it work at all costs. If it happens it happens. If not... well, then at least I don't have to feel trapped in a space in which my needs aren't being addressed. Today it all seems very positive. We shall see where this new plan leads us...

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Resignations from the Bush Administration

This link was emailed to me today and I thought some of you would be interested. It details several (several!) people who resigned from the Bush administration, (either voluntarily or otherwise) often citing strikingly similar reasons. In some cases the administration attempted to put their own spin on the reasons these people left, but reading even a random sampling of these will likely cause you to see the emergence of a larger pattern. It's nothing new, per se, but it's quite shocking to see the sheer numbers of those who have resigned for similar reasons. It certainly helps to paint a picture of this administration as something that is blind, dangerous, and the greatest threat to world security we have seen in quite some time.

From The Fallen Legion: Casualties of the Bush Administration:

In late August 2005, after twenty years of service in the field of military procurement, Bunnatine ("Bunny") Greenhouse, the top official at the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in charge of awarding government contracts for the reconstruction of Iraq, was demoted. For years, Greenhouse received stellar evaluations from superiors -- until she raised objections about secret, no-bid contracts awarded to Kellogg, Brown & Root (KBR) -- a subsidiary of Halliburton, the mega-corporation Vice President Dick Cheney once presided over. After telling congress that one Halliburton deal was "was the most blatant and improper contract abuse I have witnessed during the course of my professional career," she was reassigned from "the elite Senior Executive Service... to a lesser job in the civil works division of the corps."

To read more, including a (rather large) list of others who were similarly discharged or resigned, follow this link.

Friday, October 14, 2005

New Feri Class forming - 2006

Cross-posted to :

I am now accepting applications for a new Feri tradition class that will begin in January/February 2006.

Feri Training - Level One
(2 Years/50 twice-monthly sessions)
Location: Antioch, CA
$20-40 per month, sliding scale

This foundational class deals with the basics of Feri practice. Using discussion, guided trance, and ritual, we will experience various aspects of the tradition culminating in the establishment of a Feri tradition spiritual practice.

We will meet on the 2nd and 4th Sunday afternoons per month at my home. Each session lasts roughly 3-4 hours.

Covered topics include:

  • History of the Tradition
  • Meditation
  • Working with Energy
  • Cleansing/Kala
  • Aligning the Three Souls
  • Basic Feri Ritual
  • The Iron and Pearl Pentacles
  • The Black Heart of Innocence
  • The Elements of Feri
  • Working Tools
  • The Guardians
  • The Divine Twins
  • The Infinitum (Gods of the Feri Lemniscate)

Class size is limited. Potential students should complete an application
and mail it along with a cover letter to:

Faerywolf
PO Box 3736
Antioch, CA 94531


Interviews will be scheduled for selected applicants.

For more information about my Feri classes,
including my Long Distance class, click here.

Click here to view my current class schedule, and to sign-up for email updates.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

The Broken Triangle

I've tried to write this several times. Long story short... I broke up with Daniel on Monday.

Contrary to what has already been publicized about this event, there is anger, and there is blame and enough hurt to go around to make sure we all get our share.

But there is also hope. I hope that I have learned from this situation to never again put myself in the position to give my power away. I hope that in the future I will not be so willing to give up on my ideals just to preserve the peace, and I hope that if we do eventually meet someone whom we feel we want to open our hearts and our relationship to that we remember that they also need to mesh with our lives. I will not change who I am for anyone. I drink sometimes... I smoke pot and the occasional cigarette. I like to have long romantic dinners and talk about politics and religion. I like sex. A lot. These are the things you are in for if you date me. I will not put them away again. Not for anyone.

We said it before and now I'll say it again: Chas and I are a package deal. We've been married for over 12 years. If you date one of us you are dating us both. It doesn't need to be "equal" because that's absurd. (How can you love two people "the same"? Love is always different... that's the point of it.) But if you are dating us then it means that you are committing to making a real effort to meshing with us. Not just one or the other... but both of us. Together, apart, backwards, upside down, whatever. If you can't do that then we are not the ones for you. It's just a waste of time for all of us.

In the end I would have liked more honesty, but that is often said of failed relationships. But while it is true that I felt he was at times being dishonest with me about his intentions, it is self-honesty that I feel was truly lacking, both for him and for myself. I think he deluded himself into thinking that if he could just live with us and continue with the way things were that he would eventually love me the way he claimed he did... and I guess I suffered from the same delusion. Down deep I think both of us knew it wasn't going to happen. This week I finally decided to stop waiting.

So now he is looking for a job and new place to live. In the meantime there is an awkwardness that permeates the house. My intention is to remain friends with him, but that will require a period of time with no contact... (it's the "break" in "breaking up") and until he moves our time apart cannot even begin. So we're in limbo... waiting... waiting. I hate waiting. I've done too much of it this past year.

I'm looking forward to a fresh start, just over the horizon.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Of Radios and Witches...

Today I gave a live interview for KKUP, a small non-commercial radio station based in Cupertino. I have been interviewed for print media before, but never for radio, and certainly not LIVE radio. For two hours we talked about Witchcraft, Queer Spirituality, and the Feri tradition. We even took callers who had some thoughtful questions ranging from encounters with faeries, Witchcraft in popular culture, and the differences between Feri and Wicca. In terms of Feri material we talked a bit about the Three Souls, the Iron Pentacle, and the Blue God. It was a great opportunity for me to be able to talk about the things that are important to me, as well as to promote my website. I even made some book suggestions, which included The Spiral Dance, and Evolutionary Witchcraft. This was not your average 'local media outlet wants to do a Witchy spot for Halloween', but rather an intelligent exploration into the Craft as a viable spirituality.  I only wish that I had been able to record it... they were going to do it for me but had a technical problem right before we went on air. Oh well... All in all it was a good experience. Hopefully I'll get to do it again sometime.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Posting from the Happiest Place on Earth...

...which is right now my hotel room. ;)

Daniel, my mother, and myself met up with my sister and her boyfriend for a nice Disneyland trip!

The staff at the Grande Californian Hotel rock. Last year I had a dissapointing trip to Disneyland (long story short several rides were closed and so I ended up complaining to the management, something that I never do. What did they do to make it up to me? Offer me a greatly reduced rate at their fine hotel and free tickets to the park. So now we are here having a great time.

But it doesn't end there... when they checked me in I got to bypass the line of people, and then I got a direct line for a person to help me out with all of the things I might need during my trip. Cool... that never happened when we stayed here before. And last night when we came back to the room we saw that not only had our beds been turned down... but there was a plate of chocolate cookies along with two glasses of milk on ice waiting for us... with a note from the manager of the hotel. That was great enough but then we turned around and saw that not only had they left us the traditional chocolates for our pillows, but we also now have a sequoia tree planting kit. Wowzers... they sure are doing a lot of make sure we are happy.

And we are... having a blast, in fact. Yesterday I finally got to ride the Matterhorn (it's always been broken when I have come here... I was beginning to think that it was really just an extravegant piece of decor and that its status as a ride was an urban legend...) and we also got to ride their new ride, Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters... (so awesome... must go again today)... this morning we will attempt to go to the new Space Mountain... I'm really looking forward to it.

So... we are having a really nice vacation. Gotta run, now... I will post more later...

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Tarot: The Emperor & The Chariot

Here are my latest additions to my ongoing tarot project: The Emperor and The Chariot.

"The Emperor" ©2005 Storm Faerywolf "The Chariot" ©2005 Storm Faerywolf
Click images for descriptions and to purchase a signed print

Saturday, October 01, 2005

What? It's actually real?

After hearing about it on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, I just had to go and see for myself... sure enough... according to FEMA's own website, everything they do is expected to end in disaster.



We should have known.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Dead Can Dance

I went to go and see DCD last night in Oakland. It was so beautiful... even though they did not play my favorite song (Cantara) it was a magical and religious experience for me. Lisa Gerrard's voice, as always, is incredible and flawless... and Brenden Perry is nothing short of amazing. I probably could have done with a few less of Lisa's very slow droning solos, though beautiful, were beginning to trance me out to the point of sleep at times. Her final song, The Hymn for the Fallen was, I felt, an odd choice for a final piece, but hauntingly beautiful nonetheless. For those interested, you can read a recent interview that the SF Chronicle did with here here.

I have wanted to hear them live since I first heard them on the radio several years ago. Hearing just one of their songs, (The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove) inspired Chas and I to immediately go out and buy three of their albums on the hunch that we would like most of their stuff... needless to say we were not disappointed.) I'm so glad that the three of us were able to make arrangements to get out of the house together to go and be a part of this.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

There is no point to this post...

...other than as an excuse to display my new Colin Farrel icon. ;)



**EDIT: I changed it from an icon to just a picture... I mean, how many times will I really have cause to display an LJ icon of Colin Farrel simulating masturbation and giving head? Other than in my private time, of course. ;)

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Support Planned Parenthood: Pledge-a-Picket

I was made aware of this from my partner, Chas, who read it in the journal of blackthornglade:

Read about this ingenious plan to turn the protesters of a Pennsylvania Planned Parenthood into a positive force for choice!

It looks like perhaps a few locations are doing this now... So awesome!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

To Charge or not to Charge... Witchcraft and Capitalism

This is really simply a response to a post that elfwreck made in the  community. I am posting it here because it is rather long (too long for an LJ comment), because it has been an ongoing issue in the larger Witchcraft community, and also because my answers are personal to how I teach and conduct myself. If you are so inclined, read the original post before reading my response.

This is rather long because this is an ongoing issue that has come up before in several forums that I participate in, and as such I have given it a lot of thought. This is, obviously, directed at your #4.

I think you have brought up some valuable points. These are all things to consider when entering into a paid teacher/student relationship, whatever your role in that relationship may be.

I obviously have a different take on it, both because I paid for my training in the Feri tradition, and also because I am now a teacher in the tradition who charges money for classes. I will detail some of my own answers to these problems in order provide another view on them.

I do think that it is important to have some type of exchange for my time... most often in our society this comes in the form of money, but in recognition that there are many who simply cannot afford to pay I also offer work trade for the majority of my classes. In some cases I prefer it. I have also created a resource for students to find other teachers of the tradition, at least some of which do not charge money and whom I recommend highly.

The other potential problems that you identify are simply that... potential problems. If addressed consciously by the teacher then they need not manifest. For example, I have let paying students go because I felt that they were not willing or able to actually do the work, or simply because I felt that they were not a good fit for the tradition.

I am upfront with my students that even completion of my classes does not guarantee initiation of any kind. And I continue to stress that fact along the way.

I have also seen what happens to students when they stop classes (both paid and non) and how some have problems because of the lack of support from their previous teachers. There is no easy answer to this. The problem has less to do with paying and more to do about the teacher/student relationship at its core. My answer is to make myself available to *anyone* with questions about the tradition and the work, regardless if they are my current students or not. Obviously prior students would be in a better position to receive tailored advice from me as I would know their situation better, but even dropping out of my classes does not mean that I will never talk to you again. ;)

It dehumanizes the path by replacing social & personal ties and obligations with monetary ones.

This is by no means an absolute. For some people I suppose it can do as you say, but even to imply that this is automatic is to take a decidedly narrow view. My relationship with my teacher was genuine and heartfelt. I never felt that I was not personally tied to him simply because I was paying him money. I understood that he needed the money in order to make ends meet. I was happy to be able to contribute towards his living expenses, especially when I felt that I was getting so much more from him than he was getting from my $40-60 per month.

As for the student's obligation after classes are at an end... this is largely in the mind of the student anyway and not-paying for classes no more guarantees ongoing loyalty then paying will guarantee said loyalties will abruptly end. You are correct that it is something to address, however. Here is where communication is of key issue. I also think that where class-time can be charged for, it becomes rather dangerous to charge for actual initiations. Those, I strongly feel, should be offered freely but I will not place myself in a position to judge another who might engage in the practice, other than perhaps refraining from recommending them as a teacher. I mainly prefer to worry about my own work and practice and let others do the same for themselves.

On the flip side of the issue, there are also problems that can be associated with NOT charging for classes... I know of at least a few situations in which teachers who adamantly DID NOT charge for classes (unwittingly?) created atmospheres in which students felt obligated to provide "other" forms of compensation, creating a rather co-dependent relationship. In some cases this has manifested as sexual favors. Not exactly healthy, IMO.

Now, this isn't to say that this will always (or even often) happen in classes that are provided for free... (I would suspect that the vast majority of free classes are not subject to such degradations) I just mention it to point out that there are potential problems in whatever we do and it is a good idea to be aware of that.

It's prostitution... something sacred sold to the highest bidder.

I think this was meant to be a jab against those who charge for teaching, but it actually came across to me as kind of amusing. I am recalling the sacred prostitutes whom I hold in high regard ;) I think, however, I know what you're getting at, but I do not necessarily agree with your statement. Charging for classes does not automatically equate to "selling to the highest bidder". If I actually sold my class time on auction then I would agree. But I have set fees for my time (well, sliding scale, anyway) along with a willingness to work with the individual should they not be able to meet those fees. A hardcore stance against charging for class time implies that only those individuals who are independently wealthy should be able to teach the Craft, ignoring the contributions that can be made by those teachers who still struggle to make ends meet. Were I not charging for my time, then I would simply not be able to offer the classes that I do. I, like most people, have bills to pay. I have to buy groceries and pay for electricity, and gasoline, and everything else that humans in our society are usually required to pay for. The insistence of some that I should offer my time for free or else be labeled a "prostitute" is, quite frankly, insulting. Or at least it would be if I didn't keep thinking about the sacredness of the world's oldest profession. ;)

In the end one main thing that I have done to try to alleviate these problems is to make sure that the fees that I receive from teaching do not represent the bulk of my income. I make most of my living as a writer and artist. But were I not able to change for the time that I spend preparing for and teaching the classes I offer, then I simply would not be able to offer them, plain and simple. It would be nice if I had enough money to offer them for free, but I'm just not there. I don't think that I should be judged as being "less than" based on my financial situation. This smacks of socio-economic bigotry, which I doubt you intended.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Touch Tone Democracy

Support Gender Neutral Marriage in California

I found the following instructions in a listing on Tribe.net... I did it and it was incredibly easy.

1. This will take you less than 30 seconds
2. Call the California Governor: 916-445-2841
3. Push: 2 (voice your opinion on legislation)
4. Push: 1 (gender-neutral marriage bill - Senate Bill 849)
5. And push: 1 to support marriage equality

It's that simple! :)

East Bay Fund raiser - The Pets of Katrina

If you are in town and would like to come and listen to some music, have a couple drinks, and know that you are helping out with the relief effort, then why not join us for this event? DJ D.O.M.G (nullzeit) will be spinning tonight and chas_bogan and I will be in attendance. Come by and say hello!

"Drink For Relief" @ Spoontonic Lounge - This Friday and Saturday

Spoontonic Lounge
2580 N Main St Ste A
Walnut Creek, CA 94597
(925) 977-1888

Here we go! We got D.J. D.O.M.G. Friday night spinning & Dr. XeNo will helm Saturday night's tunes. Both will be playing 80s/indie/brit pop music.

This is a fund raiser for the people and pets that were affected by Katrina.

There is even a raffle with some great prizes:

2 Gold Passes to AMC
4 seat Box to Steve Miller
2 Roundtrip Southwest Tickets to ANYWHERE Southwest flies
2 Tickets to Niners vs. Cowboys Game on Sept 25th
Music Cd's
Comedy Cd's
Band T-shirts
Collectible Rock Posters
Autographed Rock Memorabilia

Doors open at 5pm Friday and 8pm on Saturday. The D.J.s start at 10pm.

Come down and join us!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Sex and Creation Feri Intensive UPDATE

Crossposted to :

Hello, all... I just wanted to let everyone know that after much discussion between the teachers we have decided to open up eligibility for the upcoming Sex and Creation Feri Intensive to anyone who has worked with Feri, either with a teacher or on their own.

We realize that many of you have no access or connection to a Feri teacher and so have familiarized yourselves with traditional practices through available published materials. Since we sincerely doubt that those with just a passing interest in Feri will make the commitment (both in time and in money) for the proposed event, we have decided to allow everyone an opportunity to come and make connections with Feri teachers, and learn a little bit more about our path.

Because of this change in focus, we will now be offering choices of both foundational as well as intermediate and advanced workshops at the event.

Sex and Creation: an Anderson Feri Intensive
With Anaar, T. Thorn Coyle, Storm Faerywolf and Michele Jackson
May 4-7, 2006, Diana's Grove, Missouri

Come and dance with the Gods on the ribbon of creation. Bask in the beauty of the Star Goddess and make love with the Divine Twins. Explore the paths of Sex and Creation in Feri with four powerful teachers from different lines of this potent tradition.

We will spend a magical three days and three nights on the beautiful Ozarks land of Diana's Grove. Walk the labyrinth, eat delicious food, visit the sacred ritual groves and dip your feet into the rushing creek. Most of all, work Feri magic with other Feri practitioners. All who have worked with the Anderson Feri tradition (either alone or with a teacher) are invited to attend. Foundational classes, as well as intermediate and advanced, will be offered so as to accommodate all skill levels.

Mornings will consist of working with either Sex, taught by Anaar and Storm, or Creation, taught by Thorn and Michele. Afternoons there will be foundational to advanced workshops taught by individual teachers that reflect their specialties and their specific Feri Tradition knowledge. In the evenings, we will all gather together to work magic around a bonfire under the stars.

Are you ready? Enter the magic.

Cost is $285 for three days and nights of teaching, magic and food. Tenting space is available. Cabins are available for an extra fee. Diana's Grove is a drug and alcohol free space. We ask that all participants respect this parameter.

Interested parties should contact Hyndla Kensdottir (at hyndla53704@yahoo.com) for registration inquiries.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Evacuees?? Let 'em eat cake...

Let 'em eat cake?

From today's Chicago Sun-Times:

"What I'm hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them." -- Former First Lady Barbara Bush, in response to evacuees of hurricane Katrina relocating to the Astrodome, Sept. 5th.
It's all very Marie Antoinette... where's the revolution when you need it?

For more memorable quotes, read the full article here.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Tarot: I just can't stop!

Yet another addition to my Tarot project:


"The Empress" ©2005 Storm Faerywolf
Click image to purchase a signed print.

The Empress is the complete unfolding of the Divine Feminine; the powers of fertility, creation, and inspiration. She is the fecund earth, the primal womb of the stars. She is the flower that opens in innocence... yet she is not naive. Her foundation is that of the unconscious, symbolized by the crescent moon at her feet, and She is seen emerging from the cosmic sea; the primal waters of stellar creation. In the Feri tradition She is the Star Goddess in Her aspect of Mari, the Great Mother. Seven roses in the colors of the spectrum emerge from Her holy presence... representing beauty, openness, and completion. The red rose of sexual desire marks Her holy yoni; the great womb of creation, while the blue rose of mystery hides just out of reach behind Her. Those who approach Her with respect may yet grasp the rose... but deny Her power and risk drowning in the stellar waters of the abyss.


Comments, as always, are welcome.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Long Distance Feri training

Cross posted to :

Long Distance Feri Training
(Course length will be determined by the pace of the individual)
$20-40 per month

For those individuals who wish to participate in my Feri classes but are unable to attend due to mobility, location, or other issues, I am now offering a long-distance alternative. This foundational class is based on my two-year Level One in-person Feri training course. Using email lessons, group discussion, and occasional phone sessions, the student will be guided through various aspects of Feri, culminating in the establishment of a Feri tradition spiritual practice. Students who complete this course will be eligible for enrollment in the Level Two in-person Feri training class.

Potential students should download the Class Application and mail it to the address below.

Covered topics include:

  • History of the Tradition
  • Meditation
  • Working with Energy
  • Cleansing/Kala
  • Aligning the Three Souls
  • Basic Feri Ritual
  • The Iron and Pearl Pentacles
  • The Black Heart of Innocence
  • The Elements of Feri
  • Working Tools
  • The Guardians
  • The Divine Twins
  • The Infinitum (Gods of the Feri Lemniscate)

For more information, visit my website or send SASE to:

Faerywolf
PO Box 3736
Antioch, CA 94531

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Latest image: The Hermit

Wow... I sure have posted a lot today! ;)

Here is my latest installment for my tarot project:


"The Hermit" ©2005 Storm Faerywolf
Click image for more info
or to purchase a signed print.


Comments welcome.

Time line of Katrina Events

This is just appalling.

Link lifted from the journal of veedub

http://thinkprogress.org/katrina-timeline/

Sex and Creation: an Anderson Feri Intensive

Just putting the word out for an event I will be participating in next year...

Cross posted by yezida to :


Sex and Creation: an Anderson Feri Intensive
With Anaar, T. Thorn Coyle, Storm Faerywolf and Michele Jackson
May 4-7, 2006, Diana's Grove, Missouri

Come and dance with the Gods on the ribbon of creation. Bask in the beauty of the Star Goddess and make love with the Divine Twins. Explore the paths of Sex and Creation in Feri with four powerful teachers from different lines of this potent tradition.

We will spend a magical three days and three nights on the beautiful Ozarks land of Diana's Grove. Walk the labyrinth, eat delicious food, visit the sacred ritual groves and dip your feet into the rushing creek. Most of all, work Feri magic with other Feri practitioners. All who have worked with the Anderson Feri tradition (either alone or with a teacher) are invited to attend. Foundational classes, as well as intermediate and advanced, will be offered so as to accommodate all skill levels.

Morning will consist of working with either Sex, taught by Anaar and Storm, or Creation, taught by Thorn and Michele. Afternoons there will be workshops taught by individual teachers that reflect their specialties and their specific Feri Tradition knowledge. In the evenings, we will all gather together to work magic around a bonfire under the stars.

Are you ready? Enter the magic.

Cost is $285 for three days and nights of teaching, magic and food. Tenting space is available. Cabins are available for an extra fee. Diana's Grove is a drug and alcohol free space. We ask that all participants respect this parameter.

contact Hyndla Kensdottir <hyndla53704@yahoo.com> for registration inquiries.